Wow! Obedience just ain't what she used to be! Remember when you thought it was a challenge to go brush your teeth when mom told you to, or how hard it was to be in by midnight curfue on those weekend late nights? Well, I have hit my 40's now and realize that it is not about obedience to my parents so much as it is obedience to God.
I try never to have regrets in my life, but I admit it, I do. I try to learn from my stupid mistakes, but my past still haunts me. As most of you know, there was a time in my life when I was not "sparkly clean" in my attitude and actions (and no, you don't have to leave comment about that - LOL). I regret that I have lost people I have cared about because they think I have kept those unsparkly times in my life. The truth is, I am trying very, very hard to live a life for Christ and be an example of Him, for Him. I have washed and scrubbed and worked hard to clean those dark spaces in my life and not turn to them any more. I no longer drink, I no longer smoke, I no longer .... You get the point.
I have disappointed several people lately who think that I can "break the rules" just a little bit as long as it benefits someone, but I really cannot. That is still "breaking the rules" and sets a very bad example for those young ones that look up to me, whether family or church kids.
I have spent a good amount of time this morning in prayer and thought. I have given this disappointment to God and asked for forgiveness for my past sins, and prayed for those who have gotten upset with me because I won't "break those little rules". I prayed that they can forgive me for being that "goodie 2-shoes" that that think I now am, and that they will stand up for what is right instead of trying to get away with those things that could bite them and others in the butt.
Job 36:11-12 says: If they obey and serve Him, they shall spend their days in prosperity and their years in pleasures. But if they do not obey, they shall perish by the sword, and they shall die without knowledge.
On another, softer note, I have had a wonderful few days off from work and plan on going back refreshed on Monday. I am going to go this afternoon and try to sell a computer desk to get a little money to play tomorrow morning at the Highway 80 Garage Sale! Fun times for 3 generations: Momma and Rexanna and I. I hope you have enjoyed my blog and will comment. I will be glad to pray over any prayer requests.
May God bless each and every one that reads this post. Amen.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Peace
What is peace? I have found that peace is what I have when I am able to let go. With all that has happened in my 40 years, I could write a book. I have found, though, that peace is a fabulous thing. It may only last a minute while I am pouring that first cup of coffee in the morning and the rest of the house is quiet. It may even happen when I am laying down to go to sleep at night. There was a kiss once from my husband that put me at peace. It was right before his surgery in January of 2010. That was when I gave him to God. Ohhh! I hate doing that!
But over the last 2 years, I have learned to let go, let God, and let Him give me peace. I see him struggle regularly with the strife that Satan throws at him, and yet I see him listening to his gospel music and being at peace. God is so serene, so strong, so omnipotent! He can bring me back to "center" so to speak with a prayer and a deep breath or two. Here's the deal.... you have to let Him.
That can be harder than you think when you are a control freak like me. Ouch! Did I actually say that? Yep. I did. I am a control freak. I want to control everything. I want to control who my daughter's friends are - although most of them I seem to like pretty well. I want to control my husband's fight with Satan and his pain with his back, etc. I want to control the wave of emotions I feel in a stressful situation. Somehow, though, none of this will happen in a good way unless I let go and let God handle everything. Only then will I have the peace I desire. I can put all my worries, struggles, temptations, negative emotions, troubles in God's strong, merciful, gracious hands and go about my day praising Him for all the good he will allow me to do for him that day. Whew, what a relief. Thank you, God, for the peace you bring. I love you!
But over the last 2 years, I have learned to let go, let God, and let Him give me peace. I see him struggle regularly with the strife that Satan throws at him, and yet I see him listening to his gospel music and being at peace. God is so serene, so strong, so omnipotent! He can bring me back to "center" so to speak with a prayer and a deep breath or two. Here's the deal.... you have to let Him.
That can be harder than you think when you are a control freak like me. Ouch! Did I actually say that? Yep. I did. I am a control freak. I want to control everything. I want to control who my daughter's friends are - although most of them I seem to like pretty well. I want to control my husband's fight with Satan and his pain with his back, etc. I want to control the wave of emotions I feel in a stressful situation. Somehow, though, none of this will happen in a good way unless I let go and let God handle everything. Only then will I have the peace I desire. I can put all my worries, struggles, temptations, negative emotions, troubles in God's strong, merciful, gracious hands and go about my day praising Him for all the good he will allow me to do for him that day. Whew, what a relief. Thank you, God, for the peace you bring. I love you!
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